YG0000: Lily White
Lily White was the recipient of the world's first successful torso-reattatchment operation. After a young upstart detective named Mellow Peach managed to capture a vile criminal (heretofore referred to as the "Torso Torsionist") that had been using people's torsos for his own sick and twisted means, all of his victims were collected and brought to the world's foremost medical expert. When asked if he would be able to reattach the victims to their lower body parts, the doctor said it would be impossible, and that the very idea was so ludicrous that he should spit on their faces just for suggesting it. Nevertheless, he agreed to do it, and Lily White was given the first of many operations performed that day. As the first experiment in a relatively unknown and ludicrous area of medicine, there were naturally a few complications: Lily White's higher brain-function was essentially destroyed, leaving him as a blathering, drooling idiot incapable of sentient thought. However, when re-united with his family they confessed that he'd always been that way, so the operation was considered a success.
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YG00: Mimosa Yellow
Mimosa Yellow insists on calling me every morning at 3:18 A.M. and asking me if my refrigerator is running. Since he started this annoying routine I have contacted no less than seven different fridge-repairmen, who have all told me that my fridge is in tip-top shape. I keep trying to tell Mimosa Yellow this, but he insists on calling me about it on a daily basis. I know he's just trying to be helpful, but I'm starting to get a little bit upset with him. If he keeps this up for four more months I have half a mind to tell him to stop calling me.
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YG01: Green Bice
Green Bice is an ardent fan of birdwatching. In fact, he has discovered several species of bird that were thought to have been extinct, including the dodo and the pterodactyl. Sadly, tragedy struck when he brought both specimens together to a birdwatching convention, thus resulting in the second extinction of the dodo. Green Bice has been subsequently banned from all further birdwatching conventions.
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YG03: Yellow Green
Yellow Green once vaulted over a pit of flaming tigers in an attempt to win the heart of his one true love. Tragically, his true love has crippling cataracts, so she couldn't really see the brave and heroic act, but he swears to her that it was every bit as dramatic and amazing as she could have imagined. Still, she would have preferred roses.
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YG05: Salad
Greedy for publicity, Salad threw himself into a well in the hopes of starting a media phenomenon. Sadly, the well he threw himself into was thirteen miles away from all civilization, so he was left stranded in his deep conical prison, never to see the light of day again. Sure, several collies managed to sniff him out, and left with the promise of bringing their masters to free him from this living nightmare, but they never came back. Never trust a collie.
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YG06: Yellowish Green
Yellowish Green is the coveted "missing link" between humans and monkeys. If discovered, he could verify the claims of evolutionists worldwide, and be a beacon of light for science and the progression of humanity. Having creationist beliefs himself, however, Yellowish Green spends his life in hiding, making sure to never reveal the true lineage of humanity.
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YG07: Acid Green
Acid Green can eat through thirteen layers of solid steel using only his molars. It is a talent that he is often called-upon to use, due to his tendency to befriend shifty bank-robbers. They'll bring him along on risky heists, relying on him to devour vaults and makeshift escape routes. Acid Green never was very good at being discriminate with who he hangs around with.
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YG09: Lettuce Green
There was once a man that created an invention that benefitted all of mankind. It solved all the world's greatest problems in one fell swoop. It united nations, it cured diseases, and it brought joy back to the earth. It was truly a godsend to the people of the world. Lettuce Green made his millions by stealing this invention from that man, and selling it off to the highest-bidder for a highly corrupt profit. But hey, business is business.
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YG11: Mignonette
Mignonette broke the World Record in "number of cherry pies consumed consecutively". In a matter of ten minutes he managed to devour seventy-five of these heated pastry delights, stopping only to breathe and to shoot insulin directly into his bloodstream. This was a crowning achievement in comparison to the previous world's record, which had been three cherry pies, consumed over the course of two and a half hours.
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YG13: Chartreuse
If the world were a clock, Chartreuse would be the gear that keeps everything ticking. Hard at work in the hot molten core of the earth, Chartreuse is tasked with constantly monitoring the earth's core and keeping it at a manageable and steady temperature/intesnity. If even a single thing should ever go wrong, the entire world would suffer as a consequence. Ever since his wife left him, though, Chartreuse really hasn't been pulling his weight at his job. We've already lost three continents as a consequence of his negligence. He has been given a strict talking-to and we will be closely monitoring his progress from now on.
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YG17: Grass Green
Grass Green is the head of the Drug Enforcement Task in the Oakland Police Department. It is his strict duty to ensure that all police officers partake in drug abuse while on duty, or suffer dire consequences. In fact, lack of possession of marijuana is now illegal and sentenceable to three years in prison. The cost of living for druglords has been cut in half since Grass Greenjoined the police force, and he plans to have it lowered another 30% by the end of the year!
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YG21: Anise
Anise is the only sane person left in the world. He doesn't know why they locked him in this padded room. He was just going out to get groceries one day and they grabbed him and took him to this big white building. The guards can't even form full complete sentences. They try to force him to eat sneakers and live rodents every night at 6:00. As far as he's been able to tell, a sock puppet is the overseer of this institute. And they make him go to the bathroom in the severed head of an antelope. Anise just really wants to know what the devil is going on.
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YG23: New Leaf
New Leaf claims that he's changed. He claims that he's turned away from his old, evil ways. He says that all those peasant villages that've been burned to the ground recently, those are just a coincidence. What, did you think he was responsible? No! Of course not! The next thing you know, you're going to be blaming him for all the missing orphans in the nearby countrysides! And those corpses that are strung up in front of town hall, those were probably the work of some excitable teenagers. New Leaf wouldn't know anything about that.
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YG25: Celadon Green
Celadon Green lost his wife. He took her to the zoo one day and she disappeared. He turned away for just one second to buy some ice cream, and when he looked back, she was gone. He attempted to find her, but even with the help of the park attendents her whereabouts remained a mystery. Celadon Green wonders why everything he loves runs away from him.
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YG41: Pale Green
Pale Green is often accused of being a bad friend. If you consider a bad friend to be someone who steals your car and drives it into a ditch, then blames your mother for it and gets her thrown into jail for dangerous driving, then moves into her house and doesn't pay you any rent and never invites you over, all the while secretly making lewd advances on your girlfriend, then these accusations are true.
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YG45: Cobalt Green
Cobalt Green was abducted by aliens once. They strapped him to a table and were preparing to dissect him for scientific purposes, when he managed to break free from his shackles and took the ship by storm. He made his way to the control panel and managed to set the ship back on course for Earth; however, he careened out of control at the last second and ended up crashing the ship into the European Embassy. Cobalt Green swears this to be true, but the European Embassy has no comment on the matter.
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YG63: Pea Green
Billions of years ago, long before humanity breathed its first breath, the world trembled under the might of Pea Green. Scientists speculate that he was the largest single-cell organism ever to roam the earth, weighing in at an astounding 0.0000001 ounces and with a radius of one thirty-thousandth of a millimeter. His deafening roar registered a might 0.0019 decibels on the sound scale, and the swings of his flagella could almost send ripples through the water. He was truly a king among amoebae.
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YG67: Moss
Moss is the life of the party. All men wish they were him, and all women wish they could be his lover. He once spray-painted a cow blood red and released it into a convent at 3:00 A.M. on a Tuesday night. Rumour tells that he covered the community orphanage in lewd and suggestive graffiti. It's even been said that once, under the influence of several undisclosed substances, he threw a flaming cocktail into the window of the police station and killed seventeen officers of the law. No party is truly a party until Moss bursts onto the scene, turntables in hand and girls cooing at his feet. Moss is a bonified party legend.
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YG91: Putty
Meticulous to a fault, Putty has scheduled out his entire life to a precise time-chart. Any deviation from the time-chart is unacceptable. He has gone thirteen years of his life without once breaking his strict, memorized schedule. However, his schedule states that in one week from now, he will be horribly killed in a car accident at precisely 3:46 PM. Will he deviate from the schedule to save his life, or follow it to the bitter end? Tune in next week to find out!
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YG93: Greyish Yellow
Greyish Yellow might be in a bit of trouble. It is entirely possible that the police are after him. You could even say that he's a wanted man. In theory, he's been smuggling drugs across the canadian border for thirteen years. Allegedly, the police are wise to his trafficking, if he was even trafficking in the first place. Greyish Yellow has supposedly already fled the country in fear. In theory.
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YG95: Pale Olive
Pale Olive has invested over thirteen-thousand hours of his life into the Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game "Rosy Filibuster". Not only has he acquired the coveted title that this game bears as it's namesake, but has also gone so far as to unlock the secret, hidden rank of "Raucous Picaroon". He owns over 35% of commodities in the game, and is considered by other players as the totalitarian ruler of the marketplace. Of course, none of this has any real-life relevance, but Pale Olive still likes to think of himself as accomplished.
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YG97: Spanish Olive
Spanish Olive was subcontracted by the American government to design an undefeatable weapon of mass destruction. After months and months of arduous labor, he managed to create an indestructable robot that contained the power of five-hundred atomic bombs. However,Spanish Olive's folly lied in giving the robot artificial intelligence, along with a personality randomizer, which resulted in a deadly weapon with a passive and kindhearted nature. When it was sent out into battle, the robot, instead of destroying the enemy, managed to work out a mutual agreement with their leader and resulted in world peace. The American Government was outraged, and a result, had Spanish Olive assassinated.
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YG99: Marine Green
Once full of life and vigour, Marine Green's life took a tragic turn when he tripped fell down one-hundred and twenty-five flights of stairs, resulting in a broken toe. Now he spends all of his days inside, mourning the loss of his youthful physique and carefree nature. The doctors told him that he only had to wear the cast for 2 weeks, but Marine Green knows the truth. He'll never be able to live a normal life again.
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