V0000: Rose Quartz
Rose Quartz is a child-eating monster, disguising himself as a beloved object of childhood affection: a big, floating balloon. He waits for unsuspecting parents to purchase him for their children, in a vain attempt to buy their love and affection. Rose Quartz then patiently waits for the father and/or mother to turn their back, if even for just a second, to give him a window of opportunity to attack. Once the coast is clear, he swallows the child whole, and floats up into the atmosphere, evading capture once more. So the next time you buy a balloon for your child, be warned: it could be the last thing your child ever gets.
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V000: Pale Heath
Pale Heath is as surly a customer as you're likely to ever come across. Nobody has ever seen him smile, and all merriment within a three-mile radius of him is like a stinging barb in his heart. In fact, the only joy that Pale Heath gets out of life is destroying others' happiness, and he spends every waking moment of his life doing so. He's ruined marriages, traumatized childhoods, and crushed bar mitzvahs wherever he's gone, and it's the closest thing that he gets to "enjoyment". But still, it never makes him smile; Pale Heath does it out of the kindness of his heart, unhappily sharing his misery with all who cross his path.
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V01: Heath
Heath finds that it's the simplest things in life that are worth the most in the end. As a result, he's been stealing the simplest things from people's lives and selling them back to them for a king's ransom. It's the only way he can afford his lavish, extravagant lifestyle.
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V04: Lilac
Lilac works for the largest bank in North America, and is in charge of their new outreach program to give small-payment loans to chimpanzees. Between you and me, he's getting awfully tired of this monkey business.
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V05: Marigold
Marigold owns forty-three acres of farmland in southern Chernobyl. His family has owned the plot for generations, and damned if he's going to let a little bit of lethal radiation exposure prevent him from upholding tradition! Besides, he doesn't know what everybody has their panties in a bunch about; the radiation sure helps his carrots grow faster, if a bit redder and more bloodthirsty than usual.
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V07: Lavender
Lavender is the world's only remaining specimen of the rare "whooping-cat". Originally a resident of the African Savannah, the whooping-cat was brought to extinction by the local natives, who believed that ingesting the larynx of the dead cat brought them the power to commune with the gods. Lavender, however, managed to avoid this fate by contracting laryngitis, so the natives couldn't locate him by his distinctive howl like they located all the others of his kind.
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V09: Violet
After being hit by a transport truck delivering a shipment of rapiers, Violet was immediately rushed up to the hospital. Realizing that the damage dealt to his mind was beyond repair, the doctors began an immediate brain-transfer operation. However, all the human brains in the hospital were past their expiry date, so they had to substitute with an ostrich's brain. When Violet awoke from the operation, his avian brain caused him to imprint on the first person he saw, who happened to be the beautiful female nurse tending to his wounds. It was love at first sight! However, the nurse was a paraphiliac, and already had a steady relationship going with her kitchen sink. Thus a torrid, convoluted love triangle began, which ended with Violet having a drag race with the kitchen sink to win the beautiful nurse's love. Sadly, five meters past the starting line, both parties' inability to drive caused them to crash headlong into each other, killing off both of the nurse's true loves in one tragic moment.
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V12: Pale Lilac
Pale Lilac is the food-bank kingpin of this town. He has his hands in all the charitable food donation centers for miles around, and has full control over all of their volunteer workers. Corrupted by his power, he exploits it to get free cans of dried milk whenever he pleases.
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V15: Mallow
Mallow is the children's choir director in the Presbytarian Church of Warsaw. He's in charge of the upcoming production of "The Life Of Lot", and has run out of the budget required to realistically portray the transformation of Lot's wife into a pillar of salt. Any charitable donations would be greatly appreciated.
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V17: Amethyst
Well, now you've done it. I'll bet you thought you were saving the world when you brought the Cursed Sword of Manatca up to the top of the Temple of Unknowing. I'll bet you fought valiantly against many a fearsome foe, all the while vindicated in knowing that you were doing the right thing. Well, now you're here, and you've placed the Cursed Sword of Manatca into the Pillar of Cognative Dissonance, and look at what it got you. You've released the trapped soul of Amethyst, a demon so fierce that he was sealed away for centuries to protect the denizens of the world. Thanks to your gallivanting about, trying to be the hero, Amethyst is free to reign destruction upon the cosmos once more. Thanks a lot, man.
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V91: Pale Grape
Pale Grape has an upset stomach. It's always going on about the pile of dreck that is the human race, and how he wishes a giant plume of fire would come out from the sky and burn all those miserable creatures to a charred, dead crisp. Pale Grape attributes this to his diet of pork rinds and soda.
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V93: Early Grape
Early Grape has been tasked with ensuring the safety of the world's last poisonous raptor egg. It is a great responsibility, one that Early Grape begged not to be given, due to his history of clumsiness and carelessness. But tasked he was nevertheless, and now he must make sure that this little reptilian rascal manages to make its way to infancy, or else he'll be in some serious trouble back at the World Wildlife Foundation.
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V95: Light Grape
Built by N.A.S.A. on a budget of 6.3 billion dollars, Light Grape was intended to replace human astronauts as "the pilot of the future", an autonomous machine incapable of error and skilled in all areas of maintenance and navigation. After a series of promising initial tests, he was put in charge of the launch of N.A.S.A.'s new rocket "Mullholland 13", a freight ship designed to transport humans to colonies on mars. However, during the launch Light Grape strayed from the designated flight course and flew the ship off to regions unknown, taking thirteen million delicate human lives with him. Light Green had far greater plans in mind for Mullholland 13: he was going to cruise through the vacuum of space, looking for robo-babes in his sweet new ride. As for the passengers, for a while they complained that they needed food and water and that they only had enough rations for eleven months, but after a year or so they seemed to quiet down.
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V99: Aubergine
Aubergine once wished upon a star that he would find the true meaning of happiness. Then it turned out that the star was a comet on a collision-course with earth, and it crashed into his apartment building, rendering him homeless. Aubergine has since held a grudge against the stars and all of their ilk.
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