BV0000: Pale Thistle
As the son of the biggest fashion tycoon in town, Pale Thistle is a spoiled, pompous brat that always gets what he wants. He bribes for perfect grades in school, he's got the best girlfriend that money can afford, and his posse of paid pals and cohorts are loyal to the end. He tried to pay me off so that I'd give him a shining and exemplary write-up on this site, but no amount of money is worth the greatest treasure of all: my writer's integrity....wait, hold on, you're offering how many million?!? Man, I had Pale Thistle all wrong! He's such a swell dude, and not corrupted by the evils of money at all!
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BV000: Iridescent Mauve
Iridescent Mauve is the owner of the Oakland Home For The Elderly-Inclined, an institution devoted to providing the best possible care for its senior residents. At least, that's how it appears to the public. The truth of the matter is that Iridescent Mauve is secretly capturing young people and siphoning them of their youth to keep himself alive, transforming them into withered husks of the creatures they once were. He then puts their decrepit selves in his care at his nursing-facility, painting himself as a humanitarian in the process. Iridescent Mauve has been perpetuating this cycle for centuries, and none are yet wise to his insidious ploy.
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BV00: Mauve Shadow
A mythical beast from scandinavian lore, Mauve Shadow is said to be the precursor of death. According to legend, his arrival foretells a person's coming demise, and to see him is to know your fate is sealed. The truth of the matter is that Mauve Shadow has no such unsavoury underworld connections, but is instead a member of the "air-horn avian" family. His incessant, ear-shattering screeches drive everyone within audible hearing range to bloody, violent suicide. So, in a sense, the legend remains true.
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BV01: Viola
Viola is the president of the "Debaucherous Men Association", a group of men devoted to drinking to excess and treating women as badly as possible. He's not sure exactly how he got the position; he's always polite to those of the fairer sex and has never had a drink in his life. But, like all upstanding gentlemen, Viola must abide by the commitments and responsibilities he is handed, and is going to work as hard as he can to turn the DMA in to a respectable gentleman's club.
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BV02: Prune
Prune just doesn't understand women. He's done everything to try to get their attention. He's tried yelling at them, he's tried throwing money at them, he's even tried knocking them unconscious and dragging them back to his lair so they can cook him dinner, but none of it works. Prune's starting to worry that he'll never win a woman's heart.
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BV04: Blue Berry
Blue Berry was born from the same magical spell that brought Frosty The Snowman to life. However, instead of bringing joy and merriment to children's lives, Blue Berry went on a homicidal rampage throughout town, devouring everyone in sight. The townsfolk managed to capture him and burned him at the stake in the middle of town, thus creating a Christmas tradition called "the burning of the tree".
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BV08: Blue Violet
Created by Cupid as a loveseat capable of making people literally fall in love, Blue Violet proved somewhat defective: when people sat on his lap, they would fall in love, but with such intensity that it caused them to burst into flames, charring their skin and boiling their gastric juices. As such he is currently in Cupid's storage loft, awaiting further testing.
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BV11: Soft Violet
Soft Violet is the president of the European Division of the NRA. He spends his days locked up in his safe-room, reloading and re-calibrating his guns to perfect precision. He speaks to his fellow members via webcam, and gets all food and other essentials delivered right to his door, so that he never has to leave the house. It's for the best; Soft Violet thinks that the government wants him dead because of the power he wields. The truth of the matter is that the government doesn't even have a file on him, but don't tell Soft Violet that; it would just break his heart.
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BV13: Hydrangea Blue
As mayor of a small town in Nebraska called Randill, Hydrangea Blue has instated a strict "no-love" policy which forbids any public displays of affection within city limits. All violators shall be sentenced to six months in jail and fined thirteen thousand dollars. Some people theorized that it was the death of his wife Heidi that led him to become the bitter and loveless man that he now is. Those people have since been hanged.
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BV17: Deep Reddish Blue
Until last week, I had never met Deep Reddish Blue. I had heard many things about him, like how his unique brand of no-nonsense dictatorship had been driving the economy of Johannesburg into the ground. The rumors didn't stop there; the execution of religious figureheads, the pillaging of nature for his own financial benefit, and the invasion and subsequent destruction of neighboring cities were cited exploits of his as well. Some people even went so far as to accuse him of eating the flesh of his own traitorous minions after they were executed. Well, as part of my job as a field reporter for The Daily Tale I had to go interview him, and let me tell you something: everything I had been led to believe was a lie. Deep Reddish Blue was a magnificently civil and accommodating host, answering all my questions with a smile and allowing me to stay in the room of his recenty-departed viceroy. The bed had a few stains of what I assumed to be red wine here and there, but other than that it was one of the best night's sleeps I've had in years. I don't know how such an upstanding individual has earned such a terrible reputation, but I demand that people acknowledge Deep Reddish Blue as the warm-hearted and benevolent leader that he is. And let me tell you something else: the food was fantastic! I've been asking Deep Reddish Blue for the recipe, but he hasn't gotten back to me yet, no doubt busy with the important political matters of his land.
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BV20: Dull Lavender
Dull Lavender is a low-income angel. He lives in heaven's trailer park, and grants miracles for $4.50 an hour while his manager Gabriel breathes down his neck all day. He goes home every night to his three illegitimate cherubs and overweight wife, and drinks himself to sleep with holy water.
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BV23: Greyish Lavender
Greyish Lavender is a human hunter. He hides in shrubs outside of public parks, baiting people with his puppy-flagella lure. When they go to pet it, Greyish Lavender discharges one-thousand volts of electricity, rendering the hapless victim unconcious. He then drags them back to his cave, deep in the recesses of the forest, and uses their innards to line his nest. The police are investigating the numerous park disappearances, and intend to bring Greyish Lavender up on over $300 dollars worth of loitering fines.
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BV25: Greyish Violet
Greyish Violet was always so directionless before he found his friend George in a box of shrunken heads at the city dump. George may be small, but he's really smart. He always knows what's best for Greyish Violet. Even when he tells him to hurt people, it's always for Greyish Violet's own good. George would never lie. Greyish Violet is glad that he has such a good friend looking out for him.
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BV29: Slate
Slate is upset that he's not the official mascot of this site. This was supposed to be his big hour, his shining moment, and then everyone else had to go and upstage him. Slate says he's not talking to me until he gets top-billing on this site, but it's not gonna happen. I keep telling him it's not my fault that he's a hideous abomination with no place in this world, but then I remember that I created him, so it is.
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BV31: Pale Lavender
(Note: Pale Lavender is currently host to a color-draining parasite that has inhabited the northern region of his cranium. As a result, his light, purple-grey color tone is being drained from him to sustain the leech-like organism inside of him. And out of all the luck, this happened on his first week on the job as a substitute teacher! The kids will have a field day with this...)
*Pale Lavender is a non-photo colour and will not show up in scanned images.
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