BG000: Pale Aqua
After buying a business suit from a mysterious egyptian vendor, Pale Aqua was horrified when it transformed into a giant flesh-eating louse and consumed his entire body. Now he has to show up for his business conference dressed like a freak, and with his flesh rotting from the inside. His boss is NOT going to be impressed.
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BG0000: Snow Green
Snow Green is a creature under the employ of Santa Claus that likes to hide in people's stockings at Christmastime. When children run expectantly towards their stocking on Christmas morn, they are greeted not by the sight of fabulous toys and trinkets but by an agitated Snow Green lunging from the darkness and grabbing their faces. After he latches on, he releases a series of spores from his lungs that go inside his poor victim's throat, and act as a severe disfiguring agent. The person then shrinks to 1/4 of their original size, grows elongated ears, and has a three-octave rise in vocal pitch. The diseased's family, aghast by the disgusting creature that was once their own kin, disowns them and casts them out of their house. Discarded by their family and with nowhere to go, Santa then hires them to work at his North Pole operation for low pay and long hours. In this way Santa and Snow Green ensure the continuation of Christmas tradition, albeit at the cost of several "necessary" human casualties.
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BG01: Aqua Blue
Sure, Aqua Blue may look cute now, with his charming little mannerisms and adorable appearance. You might think he's just a loveable, harmless little creature. That's exactly what he wants you to think. The second you have your back turned, he'll steal your wallet and use your credit card to buy contraband nuclear weapons, which you'll be accused of purchasing. You'll get sent to jail while he's out plotting his world domination. Curse that adorable little bastard!
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BG02: New Blue
New Blue was created a mere thirty-five seconds ago, and therefore has no defining characteristics of his own. Let your imagination run wild as to what this potentially magnificent creature may be! He could be a politician, a bank robber, a racist trucker, or all of the above! Perhaps he's renowned for his expertise with the ivory tinkerings of a concert pianist? How about a revered marksman who managed to hunt down the world's only unicorn? The sky's the limit with New Blue!
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BG05: Holiday Blue
Holiday Blue is the star of the famous german opera house, Rattenloch. Her voluptuous sashaying and scintillating vocal stylings have won her the hearts of every Herr in Hachenburg. However, a recent scandal involving a vat of french wine and the Duke of Edinburgh has jeopardized her career in the theatre. Her publicist is working night and day to do as much damage control as he can, but that can only do so much: Holiday Blue may soon have to face the chilling realization that her days in the theatre are over.
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BG07: Petroleum Blue
The stress of Petroleum Blue's job is really starting to get to him. Every day from the beginning to the end of his 9-5 grind, he's not only expected to show up to work, but to remain conscious for the entirety of his shift, which is incredibly difficult when working off the after-effects of the previous night's whiskey binge. Unlike the other whipped pansies at this job, Petroleum Blue has a social life, and he's not going to put his chronic alcoholism on hold just because "the man" tells him to. Hell, he has half a mind to quit working at Ringo's T.V. Emporium and go somewhere that respects a worker's rights.
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BG09: Blue Green
Blue Green is going through somewhat of an identity crisis. Is he blue? Is he green? Is he both, neither, or all of the above? He just doesn't know. Sometimes late at night he can feel the two polarizing aspects of his personality pulling him apart, as if they're at a great internal war with each other that he has no control over. His crippling fear of not knowing who he truly is is beginning to drive him to the brink of insanity, where his mind is collapsing under the stress and strain of his soul-searching struggle.
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BG10: Cool Shadow
The first reported sighting of Cool Shadow occured on the night of September 8th, 2007. A member of the local townsfolk was wandering through the woods in a drunken revelry after a long night at the pubs when he saw an ominous figure appear from beneath the ground itself. The creature spoke to him in a monotone voice about the impending doom of humanity, then burst into flames, disappearing before the lout's very eyes. Cool Shadow has only appeared twice since then, once to a feisty barmaid during her afternoon lunch-break, and once to a geriatric on his hospital bed. Each time, he has foretold the coming apocalypse.
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BG11: Moon White
Moon White is currently in orbit around Jupiter, along with sixty-three other moons of varying size. Generally looked down-upon as "the slow one", Moon White has never actually moved from his position in space during his entire lifetime in orbit. It is estimated that in the time it would take him to do a full rotation around Jupiter, a thousand suns would have flared in and out of existence. He also never got past grade 1 algebra and his grammatical skills are poor at best.
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BG13: Mint Green
In August of last year, Mint Green's doctor told him something terrible: he had terminal cancer, and he only had 6 months left to live. Aghast by the news, Mint Green decided to take immediate action: against all medical advice, he took on an all-pork diet to combat the cancer. Within 2 months he was on his deathbed. His final words were: "The pork killed me before the cancer could. I consider that a moral victory."
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BG15: Aqua
Have you seen Aqua? He's missing for thirteen days now. Any information pertaining to his whereabouts would be greatly appreciated. He owes me five dollars so I would really appreciate it if somebody found him. I mean, I feel bad for his family and everything, especially with his newborn son probably not having a father figure growing up, but I really need my five dollars soon because I kinda promised my friend I'd pay my gambling debts off to him. So if you know anything about him, or can give me five dollars, please get a hold of me immediately.
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BG18: Teal Blue
A professional drag-racer, Teal Blue's career came to a grinding, flaming halt when his car hit an endangered species of condor that was grooming itself on the road. It was the last male in existence, and Teal Blue has now been charged with murdering an entire species of animal in a single fell swoop. The backlash from environmental activist groups was swift and brutal, and coupled with the criminal charges being pressed against him, Teal Blue's good name was damaged to the point where no company dared to sponsor him. The court case of "Teal Blue Vs. The Societal And Moral Standards Of All" begins tomorrow, and will be televised across the nation so that all may know of this monster's cruelty.
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BG23: Coral Sea
Coral Sea is the proud prince of a secret race of unsettling fish-men. They are notorious for sacrificing beautiful virgins to the Dark Lord Of The Sea, An'g-Jkluht, and will often attack ships that pass over their territory in search of such maidens. In fact, Coral Sea has recently decreed that he is waging war on the earth-dwellers, and will not rest until each and every virgin maiden is sacrificed to their evil aquatic god. The United Nations is currently trying to negotiate with the fish-beasts, but diplomacy means nothing in the face of these ocean madmen.
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BG32: Aqua Mint
Aqua Mint's corpse was found floating upstream in the Missisipi River on January 5th, 2012. His body showed signs of trauma, including multiple bruises and a broken neck, and the police assumed the worst: a brutal murder. A search was put out for the assailant immediatly, but days later a coroner's inspection revealed that Aqua Mint had not been assaulted, but beaten to death by fish when going for an afternoon swim. The police still called it a homicide case; it seemed more dignified that way.
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BG34: Horizon Green
Horizon Green can never be reached. Every time you run to him, he just goes farther away. It is said that whoever reaches him shall know the true meaning of existence. Some have spent their whole lives in pursuit of him, only to fall exhausted in the desert plains, wishing that they could get just one glimpse of him. Horizon Green may or may not exist.
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BG45: Nile Blue
Nile Blue wakes up every day and wishes for the power of flight. Every day as he puts on his clothes, he hopes that wings will sprout from his back. Every day as he's driving to work, he prays that he can lift his car with the power of his mind. Every day that he's wasting his life away at his mundane job, he imagines bursting out of his seat and flying through the roof, going off to broad new horizons and enjoying his new flight-assisted life. But it never happens.
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BG49: Duck Blue
Duck Blue isn't in season yet. Shooting him outside of the months of April and June is strictly illegal and will be heavily frowned-upon by the law. He already has it rough enough as it is without having to be shot at; I mean, his wife just left him with thirteen children to go have an affair with an albatross, and he got fired from his job at the public park for biting an old lady's hand to get her breadcrumbs. Duck Blue's whole life is falling apart, and yet all you can think about is shooting him between the eyes. Well, that's just callous.
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BG72: Ice Ocean
Ice Ocean feels like the best years of his life are behind him. Three millennia ago, he was the cock of the walk; he could go anywhere that he wanted, eat whoever he pleased, and he would still be worshiped by the tribal humans as their extremely vengeful god. Times were simpler back then; nowadays, every time he goes into a city to eat people, they bring the national guard out and he has to deal with tanks and jets on his case. The times sure have changed since Ice Ocean's day.
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BG75: Abyss Green
Abyss Green was voted "Most Likely To Drown In His Own Filth" in high-school. But he proved all his detractors wrong: after graduating, he bought himself an oxygen tank and mask to make sure that he could be covered in his own excrement without suffocating. Take that, naysayers!
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BG78: Bronze
Bronze was kicked out of his apartment by his girlfriend after she found out that he was cheating on her with her sister, her mother, three of her aunts, three generations of her cousins, and all of her close personal friends. What can he say, he's a family man.
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BG93: Green Gray
Green Gray is currently trapped under thirteen miles of solid ice at Antarctica's core, damned by the ancient ice-age to an uncomfortable frigid prison. But he sees the climate begin to change, and he sees the heatwaves that are now overtaking the planet due to what the current native inhabitants of this planet refer to as "global warming". Green Gray doesn't care what it is, he just knows it's his ticket out of this frozen hellhole, and that as soon as he gets out he's going to wreak as much havoc as possible on the human race, ravaging their land and destroying their lives. If that's not a good reason to stop pollution, I don't know what is.
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BG96: Bush
Bush was genetically engineered to be the best and most efficient livestock available. His flesh regenerates after removal, he excretes milk and bacon, and he was even built with a cubic body for easy stackability. However, the problem science couldn't fix is his terrible taste: taking a bite of his flesh, no matter how well-cooked, results in violent retching and permanent loss of appetite. After the executive c.e.o. of the Division of Engineered Livestock took a bite of this rancid meat, he shut down funding for the entire division and filed the company for bankruptcy. Bush was then released, free to go on his merry way, and safe in the knowledge that no predator would ever try to eat him.
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BG99: Flagstone Blue
In the interest of full disclosure, I feel it best to inform you that Flagstone Blue has an extensive history of getting parking tickets and not paying for them. He's wanted in three provinces for his extremely high parking bills, which run in excess of $1700.00. The Department Of Motor Vehicles has even gone so far as to put him on their most-wanted list, and have operatives all over the country searching for him so they can bring him to swift and painful justice. So if you're ever in a car with Flagstone Blue, you have been warned.
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